My gastroenterologist moved over to the main campus of the Cleveland Clinic and it turned out I was abled to be scheduled for an endoscopy/colonscopy on the 29th of last month.

The Prep

If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy you know how delightful the prep can be. For the uninitiated, here is my story.

You have to drink this giant laxative drink in two hours, every 10 minutes. I was taking the drink and chasing it with some clear Propel so it wasn’t too bad. But as I kept drinking it got harder to keep down. It didn’t work right away, but when it did look out! I rushed to the toilet where I prepared to spend the next few hours seated on the throne with a good book. At one point I was “evacuating” and I had a bucket in front of me to throw up the drink.

It turns out it is not so easy to sit on the toilet for a long time. I found it uncomfortable and painful, plus I was already exhausted. I finally had to take my chances and sit on the nearby couch. Big mistake because when the urge came there was NO holding back. I destroyed a few pairs of underwear and had poop running down my legs.

Finally I thought that the worst was over. I was so tired I went to bed. Suddenly I had to GO. I ran to the bathroom which required a trip across my kitchen floor. I crapped all over the floor and then I slipped in it! I was down on the floor covered in poop.I made it to the bathroom and then cleaned up the floor and myself as best as I could in the middle of the night. Jacques washed the floor on his hands and knees, God bless him.

The Procedure

Jacques and I arrived at the clinic and checked in. I was going to be sedated so I had to give a urine sample to test for pregnancy. I go to give a sample and I CAN’T pee. Me, with my overactive bladder cannot pee a drop. They hooked me back up to my IV bag with the hope that the fluids would make me go. The nurse told me that I was the first procedure scheduled and politely told me to hurry up. PRESSURE!

I tried again and it was still a no-go. I apologized to the nurse. I saw my doctor and he was pacing back and forth. Everyone was waiting for me to pee.

Finally I had enough of the IV fluids to give a sample.

I was a little scared because I had never had an endoscopy before but I don’t even remember going under sedation. I felt nothing. That is why you SHOULD have these tests, because even though the prep is a beast, you feel nothing.

When I was recovering, the doctor told me everything look good except it looked like my stomach was irritated, like a Gastritis type of thing. I asked if this was the cause of my nausea but he kept saying, “Let’s how the biopsies come out”, which made me a bit nervous.

The Results

The doctor called me and told me the biopsies were consistent with Celiac Disease and he wanted me to get a blood test done.

At this point I am praying it’s Celiac’s. Although this would mean a gluten-free life style I would gladly give up wheat, cakes, pasta, etc. for the chance to have my life back.

I just want a diagnosis!

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