When you are a mom with chronic illness, I think it is only natural that you blame your child’s faults or delays on yourself.
For example:
My child would be potty-trained by now if I was a well mom.
My child wouldn’t always run into my bed if I was a well mom.
My child would have less temper tantrums if I was a well mom.
Logically, we know that a lot of healthy mothers have difficulties with their kids. But you hear that your friend’s child potty-trained herself in a week and you think It’s my fault my child isn’t potty trained yet.
Some of it may be true, at least for me. I don’t always have the stamina to keep putting Tyler back to bed all night long, or to INSIST that he uses the potty. But yet on Twitter, message boards, from my friends, I hear the same problems and they are all well!
So we have to keep telling ourselves, our children will be potty trained, sleep in their own beds, not throw food on the floor, etc. We have to get rid of the guilt and focus on the things that we can do well. We have to support each other and reach out to our well friends to tell us that, sick or not, we are not alone in the inadequacies we may sometimes feel as just plain…moms.
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About mamasick
Emily Cullen is a pen-name. A former local radio personality for seven years, I still remain active in the voiceover business. My husband, “Grant”, and I have been married since 2002 and have already experienced the “worse, “poorer, ” and “sickness ” of marriage. We both suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which have progressed. My diseases include Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, and most, recently and seriously, Lupus.
Despite all of the challenges we have faced, we were able to have a little boy, “Tyler,” born in September of 2006, which is the best thing to ever happen to us. Tyler has been classified as a “special needs” child with diagnoses which include Anxiety, OCD, and Tourette’s Syndrome. We also share our home with two cats.
We live in New Jersey and I enjoy reading fiction and learning more about taking care of my son. Before my son, I used to enjoy watching movies…watching television for that matter! Before Lupus I enjoyed fine dining and fine wine.
No longer able to work, I am now wondering, “What will I do with the rest of my (somewhat) young life?” Blogging sounds like a good start!
