My State of the New Year Address

Fellow chronically ill, healthy and those simply passing through readers, my state of the new year is weak.  (Thundering silence)

No, seriously folks, I’m going to tell it like it is.  2011 is looking to be the year of the bankruptcy for us.  We are over 30 thousand dollars in debt and have a little over five thousand dollars in savings left.  You do the math.

Our parents help us, we both receive some income from our freelance jobs, but it simply isn’t enough and I am having to draw out a couple of thou from our once considerable savings nearly every month to help make the bills.

I’m really scared because I don’t know where I am going to be in a few months.  To quote Scarlett O’Hara, “I can’t think about that right now, if I do, I’ll go crazy…”  I’m scared because in a few months I will be rocking Tyler’s world.

A couple of things could save us:

1. Winning the Lottery (unlikely!)

2. One or both of us getting our disability SOON, and then perhaps taking out a loan from our parents until we receive our back pay.

But we really only have a few months left.  Every day that goes by brings us another day closer, I HATE 2011, I did not want it to come.  I did not want to write this post, it is so hard, I do not want tears to roll down my cheeks as I write this.

Please don’t for a second think I am asking you for help, (unless you’ve got a spare hundred thou or so that you’re not doing anything with) that it is not my intention at all.  This is just my honest portrayal of the life of a family whose lives have been wrecked by illness.

I will ask you for your prayers, good vibes, karma, or whatever it is you are into.  But I really feel like I need a miracle.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.  I know it was pretty hard to read too.

Thank you.


Thanks to At Things I Can’t Say:


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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.

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