In the middle of all of the tests I have been going through, I find myself in another episode of depression.
All I want to do is watch mindless t.v., if that. I can’t concentrate on anything, I feel like I have absolutely NO interest in doing anything and so I have been sleeping a lot. Like so much I didn’t think it was possible to sleep this much.
I feel so guilty about when I can’t do anything with Tyler and he just plays video games, but the feeling to sleep is so powerful. I am glad that Grant can entertain him when he has him on his days.
I am behind in calls I have to make and bills I have to pay. I can’t seem to face the grown-up things I have to do, I feel frightened.
My psychiatrist has been on medical leave until today and I have a call into her. My therapist is also on medical leave until August 8th. I really like the two of them and do not want to leave the practice. My alternative is to call a county “talk” line but then I’m afraid I’ll wind up in a behavioral health care facility, when all I really need is a medication adjustment.
I am trying to plug along today but it is so dreary out, it is perfect napping weather.
I feel like the biggest loser in the world, and at the same time I am probably gaining weight because I am so inactive.
I am so tired of this depression.
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