Telling Tyler My Truth

I’ve hidden my mental illnesses from Tyler because he simply hasn’t been old enough to handle them. But yesterday when he teased me again about always wearing pajamas, I felt the time was right to tell him about my depression.

I described depression as feeling sad and that sometimes there wasn’t any reason why I felt sad, I just did. He said, “Just think happy thoughts”, and I told him that sometimes that didn’t work. I emphasized that my depression was not his fault and that he was not responsible for my happiness or my sadness.

After talking, Tyler asked if he could come and sit by me and hug me. We wrapped our arms around each other. “Let’s just stay like this”, he said. And we did for a long time.

I hope I did the right thing telling Tyler about my depression. I know it will be a long time before I tell him about my bipolar disorder and my mania.

And I pray he will never know the pain, sadness, and exhaustion of depression.

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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4 Responses to Telling Tyler My Truth

  1. Good for you for telling him the truth or as much truth is appropriate for his age. It’s hard to be honest about depression and even harder to share it with the world. Thanks for sharing.

  2. mamasick says:

    Thanks, Lindsey. That’s one of my missions in writing this blog, to erase the stigma of mental illness, especially for my son.

  3. Angie says:

    It’s so hard. Depression is different for everyone, and it’s hard to explain to adults, let alone children. You may want to Google “black dog”+depression. That’s an analogy I use even for adults who have no understanding of depression. It’s not perfect, but it helps.

  4. mamasick says:

    I googled and found it fascinating, thank you so much for bringing it to my attention! It might even be worth a blog post one of these days!

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