Still the Best Mom in the World

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writers’ Workshop.

Writer's Workshop

1. Throwback Thursday: Choose a photo from a previous May and write a poem or a blog post.

When I found this post from May of 2013 I was really glad I saw it because I need to be reminded.

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It’s part of Tyler’s Mother’s Day card from when he was in kindergarten. I was suffering from depression (as I am now) and feeling guilty because I wasn’t able to play with him or take him places as much as I liked. A lot of mothers feel guilty if they can’t spend quality time with their children, but when you are a chronically ill mother, the guilt is tenfold.

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The card says:“Dear Mom, Thank you for taking me to the park. You are a peacemaker. Love, Tyler”.

I was stunned. I was so upset that I thought I wasn’t taking my son to the park enough and that was the thing he remembered the best.

It made me realize, maybe I wasn’t such a failure as a mom after all. That Tyler loved me for who I am and that what I could give him was enough for him.

With summer vacation two weeks away I will try to be confident that my best is good enough for my son who loves me unconditionally, despite my disabilities.

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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5 Responses to Still the Best Mom in the World

  1. Rose Marie B says:

    What a sweet post…we are so blessed by our babies…they love us just the way we are. Please don’t beat yourself up, just do what you can. As the Mom of grown-ups now, I promise you that my kids’ memories always focus on the good times first.
    Rose Marie B´s last blog post ..Writer’s Workshop: Top 10 Timeout Chair Nominees

  2. Kat says:

    You are a peacemaker! That is the sweetest thing! I think our kids see all of the best things in us despite our guilt. God bless them for that!
    Kat´s last blog post ..Writer’s Workshop: You Can Fix It

  3. Karen wohlman says:

    I love this, as a chronically ill, depressed Mother, I totally get where you are coming from! The guilt, as you say is absolutely awful. I think we forget sometimes that our kids love being with us! No matter what! They don’t care what we do or where we go as long as we’re together. My daughter, who is 12 next week loves lying in bed with me watching a movie! If I happen to fall asleep she will say, I don’t care! You were still here! She absolutely lights up my world and I Thank God for her every day! I can’t imagine how I’d cope with this horrendous illness without her. How absolutely devastating it must be to deal with this illness and be child free! I just wouldn’t get up in the morning! Thanks for listening #mamasick you’re Blog makes me realise I am not alone! keep up the good work

  4. mamasick says:

    I’m glad I’ve given you some small comfort, Karen. You’re right, there would be no point in getting up without kids. When my son was little we developed something called “Couch Play”, where I laid down and we would play, mostly he would do the playing. Our kids just want us to pay attention to them and we will always be their mother!

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