A Walk With My Son

Every Sunday, on the weekend day I have Tyler for the whole day, I’m usually too sick to do much of anything, let alone get outdoors with him. He winds up spending most of the day on the tablet and I wind up on the couch, feeling guilty.

On Saturday night I asked God if he would make me feel well so I could take Tyler out. There are some rare days that I am not queasy so I know it is possible. I was doing pretty good on Sunday, no stomach issues, and so I asked Tyler if he would like to go for a walk in the woods. He replied, “Yeah, alright!” and I told him I felt good now but that even if I didn’t later I would still take him. The temperature was going to be over 50 degrees!

The whole morning he kept asking me, “How are you feeling? Do you still feel good?”

Before going on our walk we went to Jacques’s church where they were having a spaghetti lunch. As soon as I walked into the banquet room I felt that it was way too hot in there. (Sweating and low grade fevers are also some of my symptoms.) I started to get nauseous and had to wipe my face off with my napkin a few times. I felt miserable. I said to Tyler, “I might be feeling too sick to go, honey.” “But that would mean that you lied to me mom” and I knew he was right.

When I got outside I was suddenly freezing because I was so soaked from sweating inside. We dropped Jacques off and drove to one of the Cleveland area’s many parks. My temperature equalized and I felt better and not too queasy. We parked the car and took one of the park’s trails that I knew would be one of the shorter ones because I was not sure how long I would be able to walk. I am out of shape and have asthma and Tyler, due to his delay in gross motor skills, doesn’t have the stamina to last long either. We are a perfect match!

Tyler had to stop and say “cute dog!” to every dog owner walking and wanted to pet them.

“Can we hold hands?”, he asked me. “Of course!”, I said, knowing that this was a moment to treasure, that someday he’ll be a teenager who won’t want to be in the same room with me!

There were lovely falls on our walk and on the way back I pointed out to Tyler that people had thrown in coins to wish on. He wanted to do it too but I hadn’t brought my purse with me. Then he got the idea to wish on sticks. “I wish for more sticks!”, he shouted. I asked him to get me one. As I threw it in I said, “I wish for more walks with my son.”

If you are a parent with chronic illness you will know how much this day meant to me. And if you are a healthy parent, be grateful how easy it is to just on the spur of the moment decide to go to a park.

Either way our kids won’t be young forever so these are indeed days to treasure.



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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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