Mama Sick

One of the joys of keeping a blog is that you have a record of the cute things your little ones say.  Once again I bring you “Tylerisms” from my three-and-a-half-year-old :

On the first warm summer night I put pajamas with shorts on Tyler.  After we were watching television for about ten minutes he looked at me and asked, “Mommy, where are my pants?”

Tyler loves macaroni, pasta, etc. and is in absolute disbelief when I told him about Macaroni Art.  Why would you make a necklace out of pasta when you could eat it??

Just like Mom:

When he saw me going through the Sunday paper:  “Oooo, coupons!”

One night we were finishing dinner and I was putting what we hadn’t eaten away.  He said, “We could have the leftovers for our lunch tomorrow.”

And, I hate to think that this is because our living room is so messy but the other day Tyler said that our living room was a very nice “Collection”!

I haven’t really written about my physical health lately, but in the past months I’ve been experiencing symptoms that had been under control for a while.  Since March I’ve been having joint pain in my elbows, knees and wrists.  I’ve been using heating pads three times a day. Last weekend my hands and feet started to swell to the point of where it is really painful. Now I need heat packs and ice packs at the same time.  It’s a whole ritual, microwaving heating pads, putting others in the freezer.

This morning I woke up and couldn’t walk on my right foot because of the swelling. Of course it was Saturday and Tyler really needed a haircut.  I’m up and down with him, or because of him all the time, getting him snacks, doing laundry, helping him in the bathroom.

This is the first time since he’s been born that I’ve had this type of swelling.  And it’s just not as simple as it used to be.  Even when I was working or on a business trip, I could take break, put my feet up and ice them down.  Now with Tyler I’m gulping down an extra pain pill and doing what I’ve got to do until I can’t stand it any more.

Which is about now (9:00 p.m.)  I’m writing while my feet are elevated on top of two pillows. This symptom isn’t so easy to hide from Tyler, whom I still don’t feel comfortable telling about my diseases.

Lupus is just so uncertain.  Will I be getting better or worse?  Is my Orencia medication starting to fail? Should we finally buy a used manual wheelchair?

Right now, it is 9:15 p.m.  My child is not settling into bed like he should be at this time of the night, in fact he is eating Pez.  But for tonight, my body has given up and this sick mama needs to take a break.

New Jersey Moms Blog today, talking about the special issues we are having with getting Tyler to sleep in his own bed.  I hope you will give it a read!

Tyler has got the “make a wish” concept down pat.  The other day he was playing with a toy he has had since he was one, “The Learning Home” from Fisher-Price.  It’s really big and he reinvents the toy to suit his needs.  Anyway he was hanging on to over one side and he said “Mommy, come here and make a wish with me, you go on the other side”.  I could hear him whispering his wish.

I figured, Why not, I certainly had nothing to lose!  So I came over to him and we were across from each other, touching.  I heard him whispering, “I wish I had a Buzz Lightyear, I wish I had a Buzz Lightyear”. I closed my eyes and thought:  I wish our family had enough money where I wouldn’t always have to be worrying.  I wish I could take my son on vacation.  I wish I could help him go to college.  I wish he will always be healthy.

Tyler asked, “Mommy, how come you didn’t say your wish?”, and I told him that you are supposed to say it to yourself.

It’s amazing how our wishes change throughout our lives.  First for toys, then perhaps for good grades.  Later to meet that special someone to settle down with.   And then, when you’re a parent, it’s just about your children, all for them, only for them.

Hopefully Tyler and I had the magic touch that day and our wishes will come true.

Weekends with my son home all day are hard, but a three day weekend is close to death! Okay, not literally.  I love him SO MUCH but his boundless energy drains me so.  To make matters worse, we have NO plans for the holiday.  These are the times when being far from family and friends is really hard; no barbecues, no picnics, nothing.

I’m always reading articles about cheap things to do with your kids, but most of them include backyards and we live in an apartment.  It would be so easy to have a yard with a swing set or a little pool for Tyler.  Whenever we go to a park to picnic, I’m tired before I even get there with all the preparation I have done.  And going for a hike in the woods is impossible for me.

I feel better when we can get out.  Cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for Tyler makes me feel so down.  It is only a reminder of how cramped we are, like the walls are closing in.  But being out involves money, something very dear to us right now.

Last weekend was the first time Tyler said, “I want to go outside”.  He normally seems content to either watch t.v., read or play inside.  It makes me feel so badly to tell him, “Mommy cannot do that right now” or “Mommy can’t play with you right now” or “Mommy needs to take a nap”.

I know there are plenty of sick moms out there who have it far worse than I do.  I guess I’m just throwing myself a pity party for the Memorial Day holiday weekend.

Grant and I had decided to have our own little Mother’s Day the weekend after because my mother was staying over and my brother and his wife came over on the actual holiday.  It was your typical dysfunctional family holiday and I think Tyler just got his first taste of it that day! Whoa, what’s with this family?

Anyway Grant and Tyler were excited to give me my Mother’s Day presents.  I really didn’t want any presents but I knew that Grant would do it anyway so I told him to get me bed linen spray, a luxury that I have long since given up on.  And Tyler could barely keep the secret of my “superhero” pajamas:

We went to a late breakfast at IHOP.  I love that place because everything comes with pancakes, even the pancakes come with pancakes, so you don’t have to feel guilty about eating pancakes.

Then we finally got to do something with Tyler for the first time…fly a kite!  I picked out a Spiderman one for him and we all went to the park.  It was windy but was continuously changing directions so Tyler had a little trouble keeping it up but I did pretty well!

Here is a nice one that shows Tyler right by my side, which he was for most of the whole time we were there.

I really enjoyed having my own Mother’s Day with our little family.

Complimentary tickets were given to me by Nickelodeon.

Grant, Tyler and I went to Nickelodeon Presents Storytime Live this past Tuesday at the State Theatre in New Brunswick, NJ.  The show is four musical stories in one, with Moose and Zee as your hosts.  It features Kai Lan, The Backyardigans, The Wonder Pets and the biggest hit among the kids, Dora the Explorer.  I had a couple of concerns before going to the show:  1. Would the music be too loud and freak out my little boy?  2. Would Tyler use the public potty? (More on that later.)

I was very pleased to note that the volume of the show was perfect.  Tyler is sensitive to loud noises and had no trouble at all with the show.  The show is a mixture of real people and people in costumes with their faces showing.   At one point Tyler asked me, “Mommy, why are the animals dressed as people”?  Still, he was undaunted and he looked at the show like he was at home watching television.  The show is interactive and Tyler and the rest of the kids shouted out and moved around.

Something that I didn’t expect to happen was how much Grant and I would enjoy the show. Not just because Tyler enjoyed it, but because it was actually funny and well produced! The sets and set changes were a lot more complex than I had anticipated.  The special effects were just right and not too scary.

There was an intermission between the four stories.  Grant went to get refreshments and five minutes into the intermission Tyler looks at me and says, “Mommy, I have to go pee pee”.  I’m like, okay, okay, grabbing a bag that could hold everything that a kid could ever need when he uses a public bathroom.  I was nervous because Tyler has a fear of public toilets and usually will just “hold it”.  So I take him in and I am trying to get the sanitary cover on the seat.  It’s sliding around and Tyler says, “Mommy, I’m just going to pee standing up”!  Which is no easy task in a ladies bathroom if you happen to be three-and-a-half.  But he did it and I was so proud!

When the show started again The Wonder Pets came on.  We had bought Tyler a Ming Ming the duckling digital watch and he was holding it up to show it to Ming Ming.  The Wonder Pets are the actual pets with people behind them, like giant puppets.  Of course we told Tyler, “Ming Ming sees you, she’s looking right at you, she sees your watch”!, and he was really excited.

I would definitely recommend this show for kids two and up, although certainly there were even younger children there.  If your children are fans of these shows it will be the equivalent of a rock concert for them.  The show tours throughout the country through October.

I’m on New Jersey Moms Blog talking about when “loveys” get stinky,  and I am also proud to be a part of Chronic Babe’s Blog Carnival #4:  Parenting With a Chronic Illness.  I hope you will take a look!

Okay it was really yesterday except my server was down.

Here is my first blog written on May 19, 2009 should you be so interested:

http://www.mamasick.com/2009/05/the-very-first-one/

I just read it myself, in fact.  I think I have been true to most of the goals I set out in my introductory post.  I like that all types of people come to my blog, not just sick people, although I have enjoyed hearing from people, moms especially, who can say “Me too” or “Thank you for writing this, you have put into words what I cannot”.

And I like, and I am thankful, that I can still describe myself just as I did that day:  Mother, Wife, Sick, and that my blog has also served, just like so many other “Mom blogs” as a place to record the cherished memories that I share with my family.

My only one regret is that I haven’t been able to post as much as I would have liked to this past year.  I guess that’s where the “Sick” comes in!

Thank you for reading!

Yesterday was my son’s Mother’s Day Tea at daycare.  I was determined to go, despite having had migraines for two days and a cold sore and some threatening to come out, along with the usual issues.

I had gone to the eye doctor this week so I could get new contact lenses.  I did my hair and picked out an outfit that looked nice with one of the only two pairs of summer sandals I can still walk in.  (I gotta get more nice flip-flops.) I treated myself to my first pedicure of the year. I usually get one first for to begin the summer and one to end the summer.

I went to the tea and ran into some of the mothers I knew, who gossiped about school goings-on and emails which I usually just relegate to the trash.  The children sang three little songs.  I couldn’t seem to get any good pictures.  I had the perfect one except some little bitch three-year-old stepped into my shot.

Out tea consisted of iced tea and fruit salad, which I could not eat due to fruit allergies.  After that Tyler promptly told me he wanted to go home.  He was starting to cry.

So, I was there for about half an hour but did receive a lovely plant and card from my child.

Tomorrow we are going to celebrate Mother’s Day with my mother, brother and sister-in-law. Next weekend the three of us are going to have our own little Mother’s Day.  This Mother’s Day is exciting for me because Tyler finally “gets” the concept and is excited about giving me my presents.

I probably won’t get the chance tomorrow so I wish all celebrating a Happy Mother’s Day!