Depression and Other News

One of my doctors telling me that she would not support me in my disability and the death of my cat on Friday has officially put me into a deep depression, as if I wasn’t depressed already. My physical symptoms along with these mental ones have made functioning very difficult.  I feel like I am moving through molasses sometimes.  I know I need to find a new psychiatrist, but that is ONE more doctor, ONE more thing.

Yesterday I cancelled my physical therapy because, physically and mentally, I just couldn’t get moving.  I spent most of the day in bed, feeling useless, I couldn’t shower.  Today I had my phone session with my therapist and I told her about the two events in my life that really put me in this mindset.  She has also been asked by the disability people to fill out paperwork and she said that it is a “no-brainer” that I deserve it.  We are going to work on it together next week and she said she is going to do whatever it takes on her part.  Having a third doctor in my corner has made me feel a bit better.

Over on the cat grieving front, it really seems like Rosie’s sister is stepping it up.  I’m not sure if she is grieving but she has been super affectionate and doing the things Rosie used to do, like laying in my bed, especially when I am there.

Luckily, when it comes to Tyler, I am doing okay.  I can get out of bed, feed him, bathe him, play with him, etc.  I thank God for him because he still can bring me happiness.  Today I showered, went to the dentist and balanceed my checkbook.  Those are victories in my fight against this depression.

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.

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