Mama Sick

…and it didn’t really make a bump in the road of my life because I have bigger problems than turning 40, right?  My cat is not eating and on Friday we have an appointment with the vet and I feel she is going to recommend we put her down.  There has just been so much stress going on lately.  As I am waiting for a decision to be made on my disability I have been given more paperwork which I did manage to finish.  If I hadn’t done so much work prior to applying I would have really been in trouble. Even so I could not complete it on time, although I did call a nice representative and let her know, and she was okay with that.

A doctor that has only seen me twice since I declared my disability date of March in 2008 called me and said that in her opinion I did NOT qualify for disability based on the work I did. First of all, she has only seen me twice and has no idea how I function on a daily basis and how my life has been affected.  Second of all, just because my prior job was a desk job does not mean I can stay awake, get dressed for it and not find it painful.  It isn’t just the forty hours at your desk (not that I think I could do that) but getting up at 6:00 a.m., getting my son and I ready for the day, coming home, making dinner, bathing him, doing dishes at 10:30 at night and going to bed at 11:00, if I am lucky.  It was hard enough doing that while I was well and I am sure most well women would agree with me!

The representative told me that one doctor not filling out the paperwork would not hurt my case.  I have paperwork filled out from doctors who have seen me on a monthly basis for more than a year, those are the doctors who should count.  Anyway, this doctor really threw me and has just made me so scared that I will not get disability.

And she called me on my birthday!  We didn’t have enough money to do much but Tyler made me a card which made me cry of course, and he gave me the Willow Tree figure that he had broken when he was smaller.  Grant gave me a clothing store gift certificate.  I wasn’t looking for anything for my birthday, just wishing that my family’s life would improve.  I wasn’t really depressed about turning 40, just wishing things were better for us all and that we would have a financial situation where we were comfortable enough doing something special as one usually does on the “big” birthdays.

So that’s where I’ve been.  Tyler had a great Halloween and I will post pictures soon!