Holding My Son’s Hand

Tonight you sleep next to me because you spilled water all over your bed.

You have trouble getting to sleep because something I have read to you has scared you.  It amazes me what actually scares you and what I think should scare you.

You want to sleep with the lights on but I offer to hold your hand instead.  As we lay there in the dark holding hands I know our times like this are numbered, even though you are only five.

“Do you feel the circle of love that goes around between us when we hold hands?” I ask you.

“No, I don’t feel it.”

“It goes around and around like a mother’s love for her son, around and around like a circle and endless.  You won’t always want to hold my hand so every time you do like this, I treasure it.”

“No that’s not true, I always will want to hold your hand!”

“Okay, honey, you can always hold my hand.  You can stay with us as long as you like.  You can always be with us.”

“I won’t ever want to leave you, I want to live in this house forever.”

“Of course, you never have to leave us, you can live with us as long as you like.”

I say these words to you, knowing that some day it will not be true, so I treasure this time in your life when you think it will be.

I thank God and Jesus once again for giving me you, the most beautiful and best boy in the world and while I am thinking about it, whispering my prayer of thanks in the dark, you have fallen asleep peacefully besides me, still holding my hand.

Source: Metanorn.net


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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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15 Responses to Holding My Son’s Hand

  1. Caroline says:

    What a beautiful story. I love that he thinks he will never not want to hold your hand and that he wants to live in that house forever. Fantastic!!

  2. This is a beautiful story. I remember when my (now adult) girls thought they would marry their dad. The time flies by so quickly.

  3. Charlie Ventura says:

    Beautiful, Elizabeth……Absolutely Beautiful!! Dylan is truly lucky to have the perfect mom that you are.

    Love, Charlie

    PS…I still don’t have a car. The Neruologist has poisoned Michelle’s mind against me having one…..IN SPITE of my PERFECT driving record with State Farm and AAA. Well, I intend to get me a car regardless of WHO doesn’t like it!!

    I just acquired a SCOOTER for some limited mobility to corner stores which is better than nothing.

    Love, Charlie

  4. Tricia says:

    So completely beautiful. Brings tears.

  5. Elizabeth, Stopping by from SITSGirls—what a simply wonderful post of the true love of a family. It made me misty this morning when I read it. Sounds like you are a strong lady who does not dwell on her “problems” but who tries to maintain positive and focus on all things good instead. Blessings to you—-so happy to find you and glad to be able to cruise around your blog a bit. Have a great day!

  6. Marie Cole says:

    That is absolutely precious…Great read, thank you for sharing! 🙂
    Marie Cole´s last blog post ..Color Palette, All Aboard

  7. Jacki says:

    When they are young, they are so insistent that they will always want to hold your hand, hug you, etc. My son, who is now 9, tells me he wants to me to lay with him to chat at bedtime until he is 10, then he stops and thinks and says 11. I will take it for as long as he is willing to give it.

    Congrats on your SITS day!
    Jacki´s last blog post ..New Year’s Resolution Progress Report – Still Kickin’ It

  8. Joanne says:

    Aw that is so sweet! I love it when my daughter innocently says things like this. It is truly a time to treasure with them.
    Joanne´s last blog post ..Road Trip

  9. mommaKiss says:

    Linked over from SITS {CONGRATS!} and this post about mothers and sons is a heart melter for me. My boys are 6 and 4. Both say they’re going to marry me and I’m the only girl they like. I love holding their hand and the snuggles whenever they are freely given. I know that the ‘free’ won’t last forever.
    mommaKiss´s last blog post ..Did I hit the ceiling?

  10. This actually almost brought some tears. My son is only 7 months but I remember when he would sleep on me all day long and now wants to play. I cherish each and every little snuggle with him. I can only imagine how I’ll feel when he gets older. very cute post!
    Susan @ Real Life Travels´s last blog post ..What I Learned This Weekend

  11. Pam says:

    So wonderful and true. Now, I am crying of course but its these little things that keep mommas moving. And even with the knowledge that homework time looms in the distance I can’t wait to see my little guy every single afternoon and especially today after reading this post.

    God Bless and Keep You,
    Pam aka Momma
    Pam´s last blog post ..Free Printable Daily Agenda Planning Sheet for Busy Moms with a Doodle Spot

  12. OneMommy says:

    What a beautiful and touching post!
    My own little boy just decided he no longer wants Mommy to rock him at bedtime (he’s 2 1/2); I know how treasured those hand-holding moments are. I love that you were able to capture it so beautifully in this post.
    May you have many more hand-holding years ahead.

    Happy SITS day!
    OneMommy´s last blog post ..My 2012 #Resolution

  13. After 7 years of waiting, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter last year. She is 11 months old now and I treasure every moment with her. I know that she will grow up fast and move on with her life. Until then, I wish to hold her hand as long as I can.
    Belle Delos Reyes´s last blog post ..Post-It®

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