The Loss of Mommy

Right around Christmas it happened.


“Mom, I just got my highest score ever!”



How did this happen?? Where would you learn such a word??

I called up Grant and told him Tyler was calling me “Mom”, and he said he was sorry. Then he got “Dad”.

Ever time Tyler calls me “Mom” I feel a pang of sadness. I can’t get used to it. I feel like I will never get used to it.

Tyler is still my baby, but now, I am “Mom”.

Where has Eeyore gone? The stuffed animal you used to take everywhere with you. The one you couldn’t fall asleep without. The one you would secretly hide in your backpack when you went to kindergarten.

“Mommy” and Eeyore are gone. For now I’m going to treasure that you still watch “Umi Zoomie” and still believe my kiss can make your boo boos feel better.


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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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4 Responses to The Loss of Mommy

  1. Almille Maculi says:

    I’m laying here in my bed with my blanket pulled to my chin reading ur blog. I’m so grateful someone else feels the pain I fell with IC my husband blames it all on me and says if I’d change my diet blah blah blah. It’s easier said than done bc you really ca only eat and drink certain things and it’s hard. I’m having what I’d like to call a flare up and I don’t wanna do anything! I’m going to curl up with my water bottle and ibuprofen and hope the pain goes away 🙁

  2. mamasick says:

    I’m so glad you found my blog, Almille! There are many good support groups for IC, it is an awful disease, especially when it comes to your love life, it is very trying for both people in a relationship. I know the pain can be excruciating at times. The diet is a very difficult one to do, seeing the restrictions made me even more depressed. I hope you have more good days than bad.

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