Big Day Out?

This weekend I am scheduled to go to a party in a state park thrown by my county’s lost pets’ Facebook page members. They were very helpful to me when Max was missing.

The people in the group are really cool and we all have our love for pets in common. It’s a bring something party that’s supposed to go from noon to four. Jacques is making pasta salad for me to take.

The idea of meeting these people in real life is exciting to me. I’ve lived in Ohio for almost four years and do not have any friends. I haven’t made friends with the mothers of Tyler’s play dates or through his school or extracurricular activities. Having depression and anxiety doesn’t make it any easier. With my weight gain from my meds and my depression I don’t feel good about myself.

And then the anxiety of getting my act together kicks in too. I have to drive a bit of a distance to the park and I have to go alone.

And how will I feel the day of the party? Too physically sick or too afraid to go? Too depressed to get into the shower and get dressed? Will I even make it?

Still, the idea of meeting a whole bunch of people that know next to nothing about me is appealing, and I never have to see them again if I don’t want to. Plus I’ve got an “out” because I’m leaving Tyler with Jacques and I don’t want him to spend hours playing video games. I know if I can actually get there and start talking to people I will be okay. It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve socialized with anyone, I wonder if I can do it “right”.

How do you deal with social anxiety? Do you go for it or just hide under the covers?


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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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6 Responses to Big Day Out?

  1. Oh I hope that you go! I empathise with everything that you have mentioned and occasionally, it can get the better of me but I find that if I force myself, I can have a really good time and just leave when I’ve physically had enough or am becoming overwhelmed. It’s hard and it knocks you for a few days but it has to be better than being at home all the time. Thanks for joining the #weekendblogshare
    Hannah Spannah´s last blog post ..Weekend Blog Share 24/06/16

    • mamasick says:

      It’s a little after 8 a.m. on the day of the party and so far I feel okay so all systems are go! I don’t have a chance for many social opportunities. It’s supposed to be hot as blazes today so in addition to the kid excuse I also have the heat. Hopefully I truly won’t have a problem with the heat!

  2. ShoeboxofM says:

    I hope you did go. It sounds like you had a good attitude to it as well as exit plan.

    I’m no fan of going out and socialising either and I tend to get lost in a crowd quite easily. Having kids gives me a get out of jail free card but I’m trying to make the effort as I can see my cubs mirroring my wallflower tendencies!


    • mamasick says:

      It’s a little past 8 a.m. on the day of the party and I am feeling okay. I really do want to go! Thank you for the words of encouragement!

  3. It’s funny you should ask! Given a choice, I’d stay home in my jammies and never go anywhere or see anyone. But I know that’s not healthy, so I’ve forced myself to commit to a few social obligations that occur regularly. I’m president of my writers’ group this year, so I truly can’t miss a meeting (once a month, summers off). I also go to a bariatric support group meeting at least monthly, sometimes twice a month. And I’ve recently found a chronic pain support that is so VERY positive that I don’t think I’ll ever miss a meeting! Most of the members have Fibromyalgia, so I picked up a few things for you at the last meeting 🙂 I have a shirt, a book, and a document written by the group’s founding member to help her family understand her disease. I can’t wait to send them to you, and I hope they are helpful! Just email me your shipping address and they’ll be on the way 😀 I also run a small business (as a Nerium brand partner) with my husband, and the brain supplement is my passion. It has helped both of us in different ways according to our needs, and the business is truly a blessing for our family.Since I’ve been trying to get approved for SSI disability since 2011 a financial blessing is huge, but a feeling of helping others is even better!!

    • mamasick says:

      I do enjoy staying at home, Angie. I’m a great reader and have Netflix, but every once in a while I long for a girl friend. It’s almost 8 a.m. on the day of the party and so far I am feeling okay! You sound like you have some good ideas on how to get out. I will email you, thank you so much!

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