Yesterday I got a call from school telling me to pick Tyler up because he was beaten up on the playground.
We’ve had a rough month with him. The first event was that some girls beat him up after he got off the school bus. At school about two weeks ago some girls were teasing him. They were saying things like “Your parents don’t love you” and “Nobody loves you”. He went to the school counselor and told her about the incident. He was crying and said he wanted to kill himself. The counselor asked if he had a plan to do that and he told her yes, that he would either get a gun or a knife or hang himself. That day he had planned session with his therapist and he was determined not to be at risk to himself.
I was devastated that Tyler was in that much pain. It wasn’t that he believed what the girls were saying, it was just the merciless way they were saying it.
The therapist suggested that Tyler start group therapy. It’s basically for kids who have trouble getting along with others. The kids go into group with a goal such as “I’d like to make more friends” and work on that every two weeks scoring themselves as to how well they have done. We are going to score him too. When a child reaches a nine or ten he is considered successful in meeting his goal.
The new therapist told us that Tyler was very immature for his age, that he was at about an eight year old level and that other kids his age were more sophisticated. It really hurt to hear that, in fact I felt shocked. To me Tyler was just Tyler and that was just part of what made him wonderful.
Anyway, Tyler, his dad and I think this is going to be a really good thing for him. The doctor doesn’t accept Tyler’s insurance so I hope for this will help him. I really couldn’t find a doctor in Tyler’s network and this doctor has a really good reputation.
This week is a short week due to Thanksgiving break and we have had trouble every day. It would only be half of the story if I told you that Tyler was always the victim. He does on occasion show disrespect to his classmates and teachers. It just seems that their responses are so much worse.
Yesterday was just a plain and simple case of bullying. Tyler and his two friends were at recess and the aide asked them to collect the balls from the other kids because recess was ending. A boy would not give Tyler one of the balls and was playing keep away from him. He then punched Tyler in the stomach and knocked him to the ground where he and some other kids kicked Tyler. He also took his face and shoved it on the concrete. He was also saying things like “S*ck my d*ick” and calling him a “p*ssy”. The aide saw what was happening and she ran to pull the bully off of Tyler but the boy broke free from her and continued hitting him. Finally the aide picked up Tyler and starting running inside with him although the boy continued to run after them.
Amazingly, Tyler had some sore spots but was basically okay. The ringleader who started the fight was suspended. At first Tyler didn’t want to go to school today but he agreed to go and I was proud of him.
I know this is the best the school can do but I would like to shake this kid who would hurt my baby like that. What kind of animal is he? Next year Tyler will be in middle school where he will be facing eighth graders and what kind of damage could happen to him then?
I’ve been very down about this incident. I feel so powerless because I can’t be there to protect him and I know no parent can. Yesterday I kind of hid under the covers and didn’t help with the cooking. Jacques allowed me to be depressed and I needed it too, I needed to be sad for my boy. Today I felt sick to my stomach and laid in bed and Jacques took care of me.
Has your kid ever been bullied, or has been the one who is bullying? What did you do about it? Did you feel satisfied with the school’s actions?
Tyler in his first play.
