A Spoonie Gone Too Soon

Monday night we in the Spoonie community lost a young woman who personified joy and compassion.

Twenty-eight year old Gwendolyn Weidman choked to death while eating dinner. Gwen suffered from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and  Dysautonomia

One of the symptoms of her illnesses was difficulty swallowing.

Many Spoonies knew Gwen better than I. I got to know her on the former But You Don’t Look Sick message boards and later through Facebook. She loved her cats, was part of an animal pet and rescue center and advocated for her diseases. She was always there for her Spoonie friends no matter what she was going through.

As a final act of compassion, Gwen donated her organs and tissues.

Those who would like to honor Gwen may do so by donating to Dysautonomia International and the Ehlers-Danlos Society

In addition, a PayPal account has been set up to assist Gwen’s family.

Photo Credit: Danielle Raver

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Book Reviews!

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Some clever thieves steal some priceless manuscripts from F. Scott Fitzgerald. The scripts are flipped over from many interested parties but there is reason to believe bookstore owner Bruce Cable of Camino Island, FL is currently in possession of them. Approached by an organization specializing in recovery is Mercer Mann, a young novelist who has just been let go of her teaching job. The company gives Mercer a generous offer and she agrees to go under cover to get close to Cable. I hadn’t read John Grisham in years, I got tired of the lawyer thing, but this was really different. A great beach read, taking place in a beach setting and a plot that kept me interested. Recommended!

Jessica Malloy’s absolute favorite star is Grace Kelly and because her father is her publicist, she gets to meet her at various times throughout their lives. This is historical fiction so it follows Grace’s rising star to her fall from, well, grace when she has a baby out of wedlock. It also delves into the McCarthy Era. I really enjoyed this book, it helps that I am a Gracy Kelly fan myself! It is a wonderful coming of age story where a young woman realizes that her idol is only a person.

These reviews are from my goodreads account. I’d love to see you follow me!

 

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Last Concert

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Prompt #2: Tell us about the last concert that you attended.

I hadn’t attended a concert in years but when I heard Lady Gaga was in Cleveland in 2014 I knew I had to be there!

I never thought much of Gaga until she was on the Howard Stern show. I thought she was just a Madonna knock-off until I heard her sing. I was an instant fan!

I went all out on the make-up and with what I wore. I had the whole smokey eye thing going on! We (Jacques and I) had the nosebleed seats but the arena is small enough that there are really no bad seats. I did wish I was closer but I just didn’t have the money.

It didn’t matter. Gaga was awesome; her singing, dancing, the set and her costume changes!

I felt hungry after the concert so we ate at Steak n’ Shake. The next day I felt like I had a massive hangover! Guess I can’t party like I used to!

She’s coming to Cleveland again in August and I wistfully took a look at her concert dates but she is only there for one night and it’s a night I have Tyler. Oh well, I really couldn’t fit it into the budget anyway!

But at least I have an awesome memory!

 

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

What if I Stayed in Here Forever?

My son and boyfriend are at the pool and I have yet to get there this season. Instead, I am in my bathrobe, showered (you gotta give me credit for that) and have woken up from my second nap. My back was hurting so I cancelled my therapy appointment.

Which was a really bad idea because I really need to be there because I can’t get out of the house. I need therapy to get me out of the house but I can’t get there.

My therapist is terming me a “borderline agoraphobic”. Last week we made out a calendar of all the things that I would do this week, with maybe getting to stay home one day but no more than that in a row.

I’ve been at home for four days, mostly unshowered with the AC on and the blinds closed. Sunshine is good for people like me if I could only get outside.

Sometimes I enjoy staying inside. Like many agoraphobics it would be pretty easy for me to stay inside forever especially with having a partner to take my son places and the internet at my fingertips. I mostly read which is my favorite hobby. I usually go through a book in two to three days.

But most times I feel alone, depressed and a failure. Despite my best intentions, despite the plans I make, I start to get shaky, nauseated and feel frozen. Getting a shower gives me anxiety and so does picking out clothes. I don’t take any joy in doing my makeup or my hair.

I’ve gone longer than four days without going out. I think my record is nearly two weeks. I am missing out on seeing my son having fun in the pool and missing out on my favorite season.

Tomorrow my son has a haircut, tae kwon do practice and I’d like to get my white trash toe nails polished.

Those are my plans, I guess we will see what tomorrow brings. If you’ve never felt this way, please don’t tell me to get my ass in the shower and just do it for my son. It doesn’t work that way.

And if you’ve ever experienced this before you know exactly how I am feeling.

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Book Review!

With special thanks to Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop

Eleanor Oliphant may be a little odd and “a little bit mental” but she thinks she has it altogether. Little by little the book gives you clues about Eleanor and you learn that she is anything but fine! I was so freaked out at the end! In case you can’t tell, I loved this book! It is definitely the best book I have read this year. I read the book (300 + pages) in a day. I stayed up late because I had https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/42602933-emily-cullento find out what happens to Eleanor. Read this book!

This review is from my goodreads site. I’d love it if you would follow me!

 

 

 

 

 

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Family Reunion, Spoonie Style!

A couple of weeks ago I had thrown my back out. Jacques had to push me in a wheelchair for my doctor’s appointment. My x-ray was normal so I am going to start PT next week.

We had planned a trip to see our cousins but I didn’t know if I could stand the pain and make the drive with just Tyler.

It was decided that Jacques would drive Tyler and I up and he would stay in a hotel so as not to interrupt “family time.” When my cousin heard that that was the game plan she invited Jacques to stay as well!

The trip up was so painful but it was great to see two of my cousins who are sisters. It had been nine years since we had seen them, Tyler was a toddler back then!

                                                              Lisa, Tyler, Diane and I 

Lisa has a beautiful home that is completely surrounded by woods. Which would have been peaceful except that she has four dogs and four cats! Tyler loved all the animals. He had to keep an eye out for his stuffed Eeyore because the dogs thought it was a toy for them!

Because of my back pain I decided not to go to a dog park. But I needed a rest and I needed a heating pad! Using the stairs was near impossible and I was so thankful that I had Jacques to unpack and pack our things!

At night we went out for  a wonderful Italian meal.

It was too short a trip but my cousins were leaving to visit their parents so we started on the trip back.

I had a great time but the memory of my trip will be forever colored by the horrendous back pain I was having.

Have you ever went on an outing or trip and your disability or pain took away from your memory?

 

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

TBT: Farmer’s Market

Special thanks to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

1. Throwback Thursday: Choose a photo from a previous May and write a poem or a blog post.

From May to October is our town’s Saturday morning farm market. This photo was taken May, 2013.

As you can see, there’s fresh fruits and vegetables, Mennonites, baked goods, plants and arts and crafts, just to name a few. Oh coffee, can’t forget about coffee!

I haven’t been there for a long time because I’ve been depressed. I also get anxious at the thought of going outside.

That’s what anxiety and depression do, they can rob you of your life.

But this year, I may just make it. My therapist and I worked out schedule of sorts of two weeks. Most days I must go out and do something, but sometimes I get a day off and get to stay inside.

I also have this thing that I have to shower before I go out, but sometimes I lack the motivation. My therapist says I don’t have to shower every single day, it’s okay to sometimes not shower.

This would be a nice, romantic thing to do with Jacques on a Saturday morning.

I’m setting this as one of my goals to overcoming depression and anxiety and I will let you know if I make it!

 

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

Book Reviews!

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

These reviews are from my Goodreads page. I’d love for you to follow me!

 

 

I heard Dan Rather on an old Howard Stern show and thought it would be interesting to read his biography. I wasn’t disappointed. Covering the assassination of JFK, Vietnam, Watergate and the Gulf War, just to name a few, Mr. Rather comes across as an authentic newsman and person. From his early days on CBS news to the time when he was asked to leave to what he is doing now, this is a great book. If you love autobiographies, and even if you don’t, I highly recommend it!

 

 

Agatha’s ex-husband is getting married again and Agatha begrudgingly attends, but the wedding is not to be as the bride is shot to death. Knowing Agatha’s reputation, the bride’s parents ask her to investigate. I took a break from reading the Agatha Raisin mystery series and was delighted to plunge back in again! This is the perfect English village mystery and Agatha is a perfectly unlikeable character. She’s not all bad actually, and I enjoy this middle-age woman ever in search of love. I’m looking forward to the next book! You may want to start with the first book in the series, Quiche of Death.

 

I hope you’ll enjoy these selections. I’d love for you to follow or friend me!

 

 

 

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

TBT: Disney Vacation

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Prompt #1  Throwback Thursday: Choose a photo from a previous April and write a poem or a blog post.

It was three years ago this month when my husband, whom I am separated from, my son and I went to Disney World. Although we are separated Grant and I are amicable enough that we could go on vacation together. Tyler was seven at the time, a perfect age we thought.

The vacation was a bit more than we could afford but Disney World had been a dream I had had for my child pretty much ever since he was born. Besides, we had never taken him on a vacation. I remember him being five years old and asking me, “Mommy, what’s a vacation?”

Since then we haven’t gone on another vacation but we do have enough money every year to join our city’s pool which Tyler loves. We’ve also been able to enroll him in a few weeks of various camps so I think his summers have been pretty good. I just want to create happy memories for my child.

This summer, however, Tyler and I will be taking a road trip. My cousin who lives in Rochester, NY invited us over to her house in June. She lives in a beautiful home in the woods. Her sister is going to come too. They haven’t seen Tyler since he was a year old!

So I’m really looking forward to the trip and to Tyler seeing my father’s side of the family whom he doesn’t remember. I know they are going to eat him up!

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

The Mountain

On Sunday I planned to take my son to the park, it was going to be a beautiful day. On Saturday night I prayed that I would be well enough to take him to the park. On Sunday morning I wished upon my “Best Mom” necklace clasp that I could take Tyler to the park. An hour before I would need to get into the shower I was still on track to take him to the park.

But by the time it was ready for me to get in the shower I started to feel sick to my stomach. I felt faint. I had anxiety about getting into the shower, getting dressed, getting Tyler ready and walking out the door. I knew if I could get to the park I would have a good time but I felt as if I were on the bottom of a mountain that was too steep to climb. My therapist always says I am never supposed to say “couldn’t” or “can’t” but on Sunday I couldn’t.

I knew I would have to let Tyler know that we weren’t going to the park. That thought provided some relief from my anxiety but also depression because I was once again failing my son.

“Tyler, could you come here? I’m sorry but I’m not doing so well so I won’t be able to take you to the park today.” A very quick look of disappointment showed on Tyler’s face, but just as quickly he said, “It’s okay, mom. I love you”, and he made kissing noises.

I know I often fail my son and unfortunately he is getting used to it. I am not getting used to it. I feel so frustrated by my lack of progress with my medications and in therapy and I wonder when I will come out of this.

I was reading and Tyler was on the tablet when I said, “Why don’t you teach me chess?” “Yeah!”, he said. I had never played the game but Tyler was a pretty good player and played with his dad. I was taking notes and Tyler was giving me little hints and showing me where I was going wrong. “You’re a good teacher”, I said.

I may have limitations but the love we both have for each other is strong and there are still things we can do together.

A mother’s and child love knows no boundaries.

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment