Feeling Stupid

I don’t know what’s going on but for a few weeks I can only describe what has been going on with me as I feel stupid. There is nothing going on in my brain! I can’t get my thoughts together and I don’t remember things I have always remembered. I also am finding it difficult to write blog posts and read.

The thoughts I do have are strange. I am plagued by trivial things. I’ll be driving and look at a license plate and think, “What is the most popular license plate in Ohio?” and then I will answer myself with, “The most popular license plate in Ohio is the one with the barn on it.” Or I will be packing Tyler’s water bottle for camp and think, “Do most people in America have water bottles?”, and then I will answer myself, “Yes, most people in America have water bottles.”

In addition I find myself drawn to doing trivial internet searches. How many Emmys did Bea Arthur win for “Golden Girls?”, or let me learn more about the actress who played Aunt Bee on the “Andy Griffith” show.

I walked into my psychiatric nurse-practitioner’s office last week and asked her, “Is this the best I can hope for? I can’t live with this!”

She wanted to put me on Abilify in addition to the Effexor but I got horrible muscle spasms when I took it a few years ago. Instead she upped the Effexor even though I am on the maximum dosage already.

I am also feeling very fatigued. Tomorrow I see the endocrinologist for the first time. My nurse-practitioner told me some of my symptoms could be due to a thyroid issue. I am actually hoping I will be diagnosed with a thyroid problem and the cure could be as simple as taking a pill.

Have you ever felt “stupid” before? What was the cause?


Photo credit of Too Hot to Handle

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.

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