So I Guess I’m Just Depressed

This “thing” has been hanging on to me for sometime now and I have finally decided that I am simply depressed, rather than there being a physical reason for the way I am feeling.

This has been going on since about mid-July. It is by far not the worst depression I have ever had; the one where ever single second is a living Hell. But my routine has been to get out of bed, get on the couch and watch the “Golden Girls”, then “Let’s Make A Deal”, then “The Price is Right”. I usually watch the noon news and then two hours of “Sex in the City”.

That’s how I’ve been rolling lately.

I feel so uninspired, so uncreative. It is difficult for me to come up with blog posts.

I try to read books but I am unable to concentrate on anything.

I am unhappy that I have still not lost the weight caused by the antidepressant I was taking.

On the other hand, I’m not exactly doing anything to help myself. I cancelled my doctor’s appointment and my appointment with my therapist, feeling like I just couldn’t get out of bed to help myself. And I have not done any physical activity, which could help a myriad of my conditions.

I ask myself, “Is this the best there is for me?”

I decided that I am going to get a second opinion from the Cleveland Clinic. Am I on the right meds, should I be taking more of the same meds?

In the meantime, this is me, still looking for answers.

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.

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