My last post on February 11th about how bad my depression was was pretty grim. And things got worse as on February 13th I went in-patient at a Behavioral Health Care facility (that’s what they are calling the mental institutions these days). I was in for about two weeks where my depression did not get better and when I came out I got even worse. I could not get out of bed, my body ached from being in bed so much. I was so scared I would not be able to come out of this Hell, what would happen to me?

I was (and still am) on medication and in therapy, and about three weeks ago my mood finally started lifting. I bought make-up, I colored my hair for the first time and I bought new clothes. I started to come out of my fog. I do not think I am 100% yet, but I keep getting better every day.

For all of you who are depressed, who’s depression is lasting many months, please do not give up hope. You WILL come out of it, I know it is hard to believe from where you are sitting, but BELIEVE me, it will happen.

This roller coaster they call Bipolar Disorder sure sucks the big one.

I am stable right now, but of course I wonder when or if I will be ever pulled down again or become manic to the point of paranoia.

Right now, I am counting my blessings that I feel well. I am taking my medicine and seeing my therapist and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, and I urge all of you who are bipolar or depressed to do the same.

Here are a few highlights of what you missed in the two months that I have been away:

Tyler lost his first tooth!:


Tyler and I at Easter dinner:


At the Cleveland Great Lakes Science Center’s Egyptian exhibition:


I hope you will welcome me back, I have missed you all and am so happy that I feel well enough to start posting again! Hope you are all as well as you can be!

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.
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