More Doctors, Less Answers

All of my test results are back from my appointment with the Hematologist/Oncologist. My blood tests results that were only slightly out of range previously have returned to the normal range and my CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis were normal.

While I am pleased that I do not appear to have a serious illness, my frustration with being undiagnosed and the toll it has taken on my quality of life grows. My son Tyler has been great about it and Jacques has been wonderful about taking Tyler to tae kwon do, swimming lessons, haircuts, etc. But I want to be the one doing those things for him and I don’t want to have him playing video games when I am too sick to sit up.

Oftentimes it hurts to have my laptop on my stomach so I can’t blog and sometimes I am too nauseous to read. Sometimes I can only lay down and stare around the room, wishing to get some relief from sleep, even though I am not tired. I seem to get a break for a few hours after I have taken a nap and then I am sick again. I am tired of soft boiled eggs and chicken noodle or rice soup.

Last week I saw my Infectious Disease specialist that I saw when I had Lyme Disease. Apparently she was under the impression that this was a follow up visit. No one ever asked me. As soon she came in she said, “Well, we have problem here. You are seeing me for a new problem and I only have twenty minutes to see you!” She sounded…bitchy. Awkward!

She told me that no one with an Infectious Disease runs a fever for a year, so this was basically a waste of an expensive co-pay. She didn’t test me for anything because nothing had changed about me since I was tested last. She said it could be anxiety, that it could raise my temperature, but I looked it up and it said it happened during panic attacks, which I have never had, and the temperature it could raise up to was lower than the fevers that I run.

I felt like she was grasping at straws. She is no psychiatrist!

I was hoping it was some sort of an infectious disease that could be easily treated with antibiotics and was so disappointed.

Then I got more bad news. I was scheduled to have an colonoscopy/endoscopy in October. I called up to see if I was on a waiting list for a sooner appointment if someone cancelled, and found that I was in fact never scheduled! I spent two days getting the runaround from people who said they would call me back and never did. Now I will have to wait even longer than three months to get the tests. In desperation, I messaged my doctor to see if he could get me to a person who can help me.

Of course this depressed me on top of my ordinary depression! It will be a year in September that I have suffered with these symptoms and I just feel like they will never find out what’s wrong with me and this will be my life.


I looked for pictures of mean doctors but couldn’t find any.

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.

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